reasons why you should date me

  • i’ll make you a sandwich

  • i have amazing taste in music

  • i’m too ugly to cheat

  • i have no friends so i can spend lots of time with you

  • i have netflix

(via pinkfloyddarkside)

Person: She was dressed like a slut, so she got raped. It's common sense.




Officer: So, you say you shot this man?

Me: Officer, it's not my fault he was killed. I mean, he WASN'T wearing a bullet proof vest. It's his fault that my bullet killed him. It's not my fault at all. How dare he walk around with his body vulnerable to bullets.